I do not have much time left, and this is difficult for me to talk about, so this is not going to be very well-written.
The original plan (as of January 2022) was to shut down the website permanently and leave this theme/era as well as the people associated with it behind for the rest of my life, you know - move on like I should've done and tried to do multiple times from 2018 to 2021. Let me just say that Garry's Mod and all online activities I participated in AFTER "The Public Community" (anything after late 2014) were all negative experiences in the end and had I been able to move on I would not be here writing this miserable paragraph.
Know now that my plan is to write-lock (read-only) this website as soon as I am no longer incapacitated, so this place will act as a little memory chest of this time period in my life. As for the memories of the actual Republic that existed from 2015-2021, and what came before - most of that has been destroyed and lost. This is okay. My goal as of right now is to move forward and create a future for myself with new memories and real-life value.
The internet completely failed me, I was exposed to the darkest evils, the most wicked people, and the list of mistakes on my part and time spent on nothing goes on. 2014 was the right time for me to leave, at around 14 to 15 years old. Instead, I got obsessed, locked in on superficial goals, and forgot my responsibility to become mature. From 2018 to 2021, I tried multiple times to become mature and develop a future for myself (like with Will or Matt as adult room-mates/best friends, and the Air Force) and to break free of my old internet life, but I always ended up back in square one somehow, and now I am going to pay a price for it. I want to be young when I am done. In 2022, I was in the middle of actually succeeding at moving on and becoming my true self (which I will describe in later messages) - but I was stopped when my teenage past came back and is now trying to destroy me.
I need a creative outlet and want you - whoever you are - to know how I am doing. And so, this website exists as a one-way radio for me to entertain you and express myself to you. Please try to enjoy it.
Wish me luck, pray for me, and bless me. I would elaborate further but that is a bad idea right now. See you later.
